Let Go & Push Reset

Okay, people say He doesn’t throw more at you than He believes you are strong enough to handle, but what if I don’t want to be the strong one today? I greatly appreciate the compliment, but can I have the day off? Last Thanksgiving was the 17 year mark since I re-entered the workforce, became a single mom, and things certainly haven’t gotten any easier. This state is an “at will” work state. That means no matter how good or hard you work for someone, they can let you go at any time, without reason or notice. No matter how much you’ve been “promoted”, no matter how successfully you performed, you’ve still got no guarantee of employment. I am not the only one that feels “loyalty” is truly hard to find these days. Sadly, this holds true in more ways than just the workplace.

I have started over so many times, it’s crazy. Yep, I’m doing it again, but I want this to be the last time. I don’t want to work for people like that anymore. I want to invest in myself. The best way I can to this is to sell my home and pursue myself. This would give me the financial choice to do what I love and focus on me, finally. It’s frightening, yes. It’s uncertain, yes. But with the proper attitude, it’s also possible. I don’t mind taking the risk. I think it will be a wonderful journey, a fresh beginning, even at the ripe age of 59 years. The thought of it excites me, to be honest. Not sure where I’ll end up, but I know I have a multitude of choices ahead of me.

I am an artist. I thank my father for that, for he was the best one I’ve ever known. Hell, even his handwriting was incredibly artistic. We shared the “eye”, we shared the “ear” and he always encouraged me, challenged me. Art and music run deep within my family. I grew up with both being strong influences in my life. I love creating beauty and music runs through my veins. I do both, simultaneously whenever possible. I imagine myself doing this for the rest of my life. That is, when I let go of my homestead of the past 30 years.

I want to hit the road without a plan. I want to explore before I decide where the next place will be that I’ll hang my hat. One thing that is certain, it’ll all be up to me to decide. I will not be stabbed in the back, kicked in the teeth or cut. I will be loyal to myself. I will do what’s best for me. I will survive. It’s been a very long time since I’ve focused on myself and this is just what I must do at this point in my life. My home state and my government don’t give a crap about me. I do. I know I wasn’t born to work my ass off, pay bills and die. There’s something much greater out there and I’m sure as hell ready to find it.

I want exactly what I have now, but on a much smaller scale. I want to grow my herbs, do my organic gardening and create the beautiful things I put my heart and soul in to. I want to make all those I cross paths with aware of the wonderment of life. I want to live more simply, less stressfully and be more at peace. I want to wake every day knowing that I’m in control of my life’s everything, no longer feeling reliant on anyone else for that sense of “security” that we all strive for. I want to embrace my freedoms.

I absolutely adore living here. This is my sanity sanctuary. I’ve put 30 years of my back and passion into this place. Of all the places I’ve lived, this is certainly my favorite. It’s so peaceful here, it’s so full of love and this is where I’ve raised two fabulous kids, among others. It’s too big, far more than I need now. I don’t need all this much house or all this much land. It’s time for me to down-size and focus on the rest of my life. I want to let someone else enjoy all that I have, for so many years. This is a fabulous place to raise a family, but I’ve done that. So now it’s time to let go and get going. It’s overwhelming in the thought, but exciting at the same time. I’m truly looking forward to the day I will do this because I know it will give me the opportunity to invest in me. I’ve been working since I was twelve and now I want the work I do to provide more. It’s time to get real and a little selfish. I’m tired of being nickel-and-dimed to death at every turn. There’s a huge world out there, I’ve explored this country from coast-to-coast and I want to return to some of those places again. I also want to visit places I missed along those journeys. Yep, I’m at the point in my life where I want, and need to create, a new hat rack.

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. Nicki says:

    Selfishly I don’t ever want you to move! But I believe the world and “whoever” have a much bigger plan for you. Thank you for always being a constant LOYAL person in my life. ❤

    Like

    1. I love you, Nicki. 💜🔮💜

      Like

  2. Gloria J McGaffey says:

    I am with Nicki, but, we know where ever you end up, we will be welcome. Laughing, cheering you on. Bet there will be an amazing Store Front, showcasing your jewelry, the beautiful gift wrapping, ideas everywhere. One fabulous woman who is loved dearly.

    Like

    1. You two ladies are putting happy tears in the corner of my eyes… I love you! 🌹

      Like

  3. Eve says:

    No matter where you go or end up, I have no doubt in my mind you will do great. It is now your time. Enjoy…But don’t forget about your long time friends and keep in touch.

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    1. Oh, sweet Eve, I could never & would never forget! I love you & miss you! 💜💎💜 ~x0x~

      Like

  4. Dawn says:

    Very well said. Was wondering when you would make this move. Want to thank you for the friendship and advice on alot of issues. I will miss you. But most of all I wish you happiness. Happy Journeys. XO Xo.

    Like

    1. Thank you, Dawn. Waiting till spring before placing this place up for sale. We will stay in touch no matter where I am, technology is grand for that! ~x0x~💜

      Like

  5. I like your attitude. It seems life constantly challenges you doesn’t it

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    1. Yes, it certainly seems unlimited sometimes. Thank you for your thoughts. 🌺

      Like

  6. Camie says:

    My thoughts are we just have this one life to live, so go and live it! What’s life without adventure?

    Like

    1. That’s very true. Life itself, is an adventure full of mystery, discovery & wonder. 🌺🌎🌺🔮🌺

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Bobbie Fontaine says:

    Woman you are going to be great do great whatever happens. Your life has been a journey, and you’ve shared so many private and intimate memories i absolutely love reading your blogs.
    YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, LOYAL ,TRUSTWORTHY FRIEND. I WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU LEAVE US FOR YOUR NEXT CHAPTER IN LIFE DON’T FORGET ABOUT US. XOXO

    Like

    1. Thank you so much, Beautiful! I am grateful you enjoy my writing. I have so much to share & I adore being able to do so with this avenue. Stay tuned…more to come! ~x0x~

      Like

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