A Dream Within A Nightmare

It’s amazing to know that any human being could be capable of walking into a building and open fire on other people, innocent people, with only the intention of killing them. Or firing into a crowd watching a concert or holiday fireworks, complete strangers, only wanting to cause death. What happens to a human being to make them capable of doing something so horrific, so cold? How does one become so damn detached that these thoughts become actions, and nothing clicks in saying “this is NOT a good idea!” Is it an illness, an imbalance of some kind? Is it a level of anger so intense that no one ever noticed? Was there a pill, that wasn’t prescribed, that would have prevented this behavior?

I’ve been a victim. I’ve turned myself into a crazed woman and avoided a rape. I’ve been brutally attacked by a stranger, because of jealousy, set-up by a so-called friend. I’ve given everything to a loved one, only to be stripped of most everything that was “secure”. I’ve walked on eggshells, trying to avoid an ugly outburst, never knowing when a peaceful day would become a violent one. I never realized just how lucky I was. I’ve never known a human being that would be so cold as to kill.

So, how does a human being become so detached that they have absolutely no heart? How does a human being become so cold, so cruel? These events get politicians preaching about gun control. We all have the right to bear arms. We all have the right to protect ourselves with more than a frying pan. Really, guns do not become “weapons” until a human being uses them to cause harm. A gun can remain in a safe place for many years doing nothing, never used, intended only for protection. It doesn’t become a “weapon” until a human being makes it such.

Seriously, how much more does our government need to control? They’ve got their hands in just about everything. No matter what they do, politicians are protected. They don’t use guns, they use pens. They dictate, make laws and rules and have killed the great American Dream for most all of us. They’ve made it so we must have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, before we are allowed to live a life of “pleasure”, after working forever. If you were born here, you don’t qualify for shit. Yep, the great American Dream. What was that again? A house, a car in the driveway, two kids and a white picket fence? The house comes with a mortgage you can’t afford, the car is a manufactured lemon, the kids are “labeled” and prescribed a lifetime of drugs and you can’t have the fence, without an expensive permit!

I may not always have enough to give, but I’ve always found a way to share. I’ve opened my home, my heart to others most all my life. I see miracles all the time. Surviving with so little, doing so much and still being in an upright position and breathing, has certainly been a miracle within itself. I’ve seen this miracle every year. But, no matter how much you sacrifice, no matter how little you have, no matter how much you are willing to help others, you don’t qualify for shit. Yea, the great American Dream. I think that has changed. It’s more like, “You make it, we’ll take it!” Your income, your property, your soul, it matters not. It doesn’t matter if you can’t feed the children, you must still give 33.33% of that nickel, because you don’t qualify for shit.

I may never understand what makes a human being so cold, so cruel, so damn detached from humanity. I’m sure researchers will tell us. Government will place blame on some “right” we still have, before they take that from us too. What can we be sure of though? I’m pretty sure these human beings don’t become completely detached or horrifying because of the luxurious life they lived. I doubt it was because they were forced to enjoy family vacations every year. I bet it wasn’t because of all the loving holiday celebrations or birthday parties they shared with family and friends during their lives. It probably didn’t have anything to do with the abundance of food, warmth and shelter they shared with others. Didn’t have a thing to do with the wonderful, stress-free, incredibly happy lives they were forced to tolerate daily. My heart truly goes out to all those whose lives have felt this horror. I do count my blessings, knowing that none of my friends or family has proven to have this kind of capability to date.

I wonder how long before a pill will be developed to cure this? Can we truly say people are born with this capability? I don’t believe so, but maybe I should go into a maternity ward nursery and see how many of the babies I feel this negative vibe from. Guess you can’t be too careful these days. After all, this greedy, selfish, “screw-you” society that we live in, has nothing to do with it. The out-of-control world in which we reside, has had absolutely no affect whatsoever. Besides, if you feel you’ve been hurt or wronged, you can just hire yourself an attorney that really cares about you and they’ll get you everything you deserve.

I may never understand how people can do such horrible things. They say to catch one, you must think like one. Well, I’m not wired that way. I can’t even begin to think like that. Life is way too short as it is.  Does this mean I’ll never know why or how any human being can become capable of such horror? Possibly. The question once was, “How high can you jump?” Seems now it’s more like, “How far can you bend over so we can shove this stick up your butt and make you our puppet, leaving you lost, desperate and struggling for all eternity?” Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at that, how inappropriate of me.

Have we done it to ourselves? Is it more important to share a cute video on social media than to be capable of face-to-face contact with another human being? Are we so busy, so detached, that we must ask a Google speaker box for the answers to life’s questions? If there really IS strength in numbers, then why the hell is it so hard to get our fellow beings to stand together, united and demand change be made? Not by taking our right to bear arms or protect ourselves away from us, but by demanding that we not allow so damn much to become so out-of-control! How about demanding more “common sense” and less greed? How about allowing us to live simple and happy lives? Maybe if we were able to survive, raise the children and have the time to instill compassion, self-worth, respect for one another, self-esteem and all that other “crap” that makes us loving human beings, our world might just be a whole lot different. Maybe that is the great American Dream! A wonderful life…A wonderful world. Yea, it does sound like a movie or a song. Maybe the secret to living a simple, happy life is getting yourself an attorney, then you would have the “advantage”, because they won’t take a single thing from you…unless you get a nickel.


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