In a world as crazy as the one that exists, most people will tell you that the one thing they want most, is to just be happy. Being happy doesn’t have to be difficult. Being happy isn’t always easy, either. Although being happy sounds simple, for many, it can be a serious challenge. For someone to be truly happy, you must decide just what it is that will make your life the most beautiful for you. You have but one chance to create your best life. Only you know for certain what will truly make you happy.
The best way to living a truly happy life, is being honest and true with yourself. You can’t buy happy, contrary to popular belief. Happy is created. Life really is way too short and it goes by way too fast. We only get one. One chance to live. One chance to live our best life. You may never be able to do everything you want to do, just do what you can. Most importantly, do what you must, what you need to, to live truly happy. This is the one thing so many don’t realize, is most important. Most wished for. Most dreamed of. You can live your life, in many different styles, but being truly happy, is something many cannot say they are, in theirs.
Once you came out of the womb, you became your own person. You are not here to live your life the way someone else wants you to. That usually doesn’t end well, for anyone. When the day comes and you become totally responsible for yourself, your choices, be ready to put the “big” pants on and be your best self, dignified and strong. What someone else wants for you, just might not be what you want for you. That’s okay, but who should tell them, if not you?
So, how can you share your truth, your choice or your reason for living your life as you’ve chosen? How do you share with those you have not? By being courageous, trusting in yourself, that whatever the choice, whatever the reason, this is best for you. Being honest with yourself, is the first and greatest step. If you have accepted this, as the best for you, then approach the table looking only for understanding. Remind yourself, the most important person has already embraced acceptance of your truth. That person, the most important one, is the one who will be living your life.
If this is monumentally important, to you or your life, then you must respect your own opinion, right? Then you need to carry your self-respect with you, when you approach the table. You need to wear it, like a suit. You’ll only be able to do that, if you truly believe in yourself, your opinion, your reason. You’ll never be able to convince anyone to respect your words or actions, if you don’t respect yourself, first. It’s not a costume that you can rent. It’s not a temporary adornment that will wash off, the next time you bathe. If something is that important to you, that respect, will be most prevalent around the table. Nothing will speak louder for you, than that.
If you want to be respected, in your choice, your reason, then you must present with respect. If you allow anger, hostility, judgement, or the such, to enter the picture, then you will get that in response. Allowing negativity to be placed upon the table does nothing more than demean the value or importance of the entire thing. Don’t be brutal, in your defense, be brave. Brave enough to stand by what you believe, regardless of your audience, while exercising respect. This will maintain the importance of what brought you to the table.
Remember, the audience in front of you is made up of those you value in your life. Regardless of the number, regardless of their position, you believe them to have merit. Treat your audience with the worth you have placed upon them. Give, exactly what you hope to get, in the end. They will either prove themselves to be worthy, or sadly, they won’t. You can’t force anyone to change their opinion. You can’t make anyone believe in what you’ve chosen. The best you should hope to accomplish, is understanding. When all is said and done, it’s still your choice. Simple as that.
When it comes to making choices that go against everything others feel is best for you, be strong. Maintain respect for yourself, believe in yourself and give it your best shot. Show respect for those you value, listen to their opinions. This is very important, because they care about you, or they wouldn’t be at the table. Showing that respect, conveys their value in your life. However, at the end of the day, regardless, no one’s opinion of you, your life, your choice, is more important than your own. Only you truly understand the depth of value this holds for you.
Choose your battles wisely. Ask yourself, “is this really going to change my life?” “Is this really going to change my world?” If your answer is “yes”, then you certainly need to stand your ground. You need to express just why this is so important or valuable, to you, your life, properly. You need to do that in a way that conveys value, on all levels. Realize that what you bring to the table, is going to have a great impact on what others bring as well.
There may come a time when you might have to ask yourself, “just how far do I want to allow this to affect me?” “Am I willing, to allow this, to change my life?” There surely will be times when everyone involved, must be willing to agree, to disagree. That is respect, pure and simple. For yourself, and everyone else at the table. If you truly believe, in your heart of hearts, that something is not good for you, your life, then don’t allow it to change either of them. But always remain dignified in your pursuit of what you believe. Do that, simply for yourself. Otherwise, you will not gain, nor conquer the respect for your choice, your reason or yourself, that you had hoped.
If you believe your choice will truly be best for you, make you truly happy, then you must allow yourself to pursue that. No one else is going to live your life for you, only you can do that. Don’t do it to “prove” anything to anyone. That just makes it ugly, and you’ll lose value and respect in the end, even from yourself. If it doesn’t work the way you had hoped, then so be it. At least you made the attempt. This is what builds pride. Believe in yourself enough to make changes, if need be. Nonetheless, be willing to accept the outcome of your choice. No one can fault you for that.
You have but one chance to create your best life. You owe it to yourself, to not live yours, forever wondering “what if”. Dreams are a wish the heart makes, so follow the path. No, there’s no guarantee you’ll achieve them, but if you shoot for the moon and miss, at least you’ll land among the stars. Be the star of your life, just for you, and all else may fall into its place. You never know, right? Sometimes, we can find our happiest self, in the unexpected. Life does surprise us, at times. Remarkable things can change everything, including your path, your journey. If you succeed, and find true happiness in your heart, then you are living your most beautiful life.
When you bring real to the table, be mindful, speak from your heart. Let those loved ones see how very much this means to you. Let them see how very much you trust in yourself. The only person you owe anything to, truthfully, is yourself. If you believe this to be the best thing for you, then wear your pride, your trust in yourself, from head to toe, and stand strong. Maintain respect, as you place this upon the table, and let them feel your courage, your belief in yourself. Your honor, in doing so, will become your greatest asset.
Not all are successful in their pursuit. With life, there’s loss. Without one, you don’t have the other. Loss has many forms. Don’t make them bigger than they should be. Some losses will be difficult, very painful. Not all of them will be. Some can be enlightening, some educational. Trust in yourself to recognize the differences in each of them. When you return to the table, gather with those you value, having grown and are living your most beautiful, happiest life, how could anyone not realize the pure and honest joy in that? Realistically, isn’t that, what so many people wish for?
Whatever your subject, no matter how difficult it seems, have the courage to share that truth with those before you. If you fear this, avoid it or hide it, then all you’re doing is creating doubt with your truth. If you don’t truly believe, you won’t be successful in conveying the importance or value of it to anyone else. They’ll never believe it to be, what’s best for you. If you must change yourself, to make someone else happy, you’re not being honest or truthful, with anyone. Bring your honesty and respect, together, to the table and place it before them.
When dealing with those you value in your life who are fighting, tooth and nail to stop you, remember, just because you were born, doesn’t mean you owe someone your life. That isn’t love, it’s control. If you allow yourself to be controlled, you only have yourself to blame for that. People can only accomplish what you allow them to. If you have family, or friends at the table, you may have drama. It doesn’t matter how much, or how little. On some level, you deal with it. Just don’t beat yourself up over it. You can “pound sand down a rat hole all day”, as my mother would say, and you still won’t accomplish anything, the rat will survive. Sometimes, people will believe what they want to believe, think what they want to think. Sometimes, you have no choice but to accept the reality that absolutely nothing you do or say, is going to change anything.
Even some parents find it hard to let go of their children. When children become adults, it’s hard for some to understand you don’t have to let go, but you do have to step back. Children naturally love to explore, creating their own adventure. Having grown, this becomes more serious. They’re creating their life. We must allow them the wonder, the beauty, in doing exactly that. In giving that freedom, comes an unbreakable love and respect. Did you know, if a butterfly doesn’t fight its own way out of the cocoon, it won’t have the necessary strength to fly, nor will it live very long? It’s so very important to allow our adult children to learn how to fly on their own.
We should always love our children for who they are, our children, regardless of age, not for what they are, that should remain limitless. We must give them their freedom, give them understanding, realizing they are only a part of us. If your child fears bringing their honesty to the table, sharing with those they value in their life, they’ll never truly be able to live their most beautiful, their genuinely happiest, life. This should be the greatest debt they have to pay, the one they owe only to themselves.
I did things in my life that went against everything my parents believed, to the point I was made to choose. I was made to choose between what I believed in, to be best for me, or my family. I was damned, cursed and “disowned” at one point. However, standing and believing in myself, my choice, exercising self-respect, self-worth, got more respect than I could’ve dreamed possible, in the end. It wasn’t easy, at times, it was quite painful. But, standing strong and believing in yourself, is the most important thing you can do in your life.
We should respect those who are courageous in bringing real, bringing honesty, to the table. Let us recognize that this may even be the most difficult thing for them to address. As we honor all soldiers willing to fight the battles, giving us freedom, remember, these soldiers are our children, no matter where the battleground. For some, the greatest battle they may face, they may fight, is the one within themselves. As a nation, as adults, we embrace those freedoms. As parents, as valued members in another’s life, we owe to our soldiers, our children, the same value of freedom in creating, in living, their most beautiful, their truly happiest life.
I chose to write about this subject because, in talking with adults of all ages, it was a little surprising to hear so many of them say how much happier they’d be, if they could just be honest with those they value in their lives. Feeling they’d be happier, if only they could put their truth “on the table” with them, to free themselves, and share their honesty. Sadly, they greatly fear the thought, never confiding their truth, some living a “secret” life altogether. This fear will, absolutely, accomplish just one thing, prevent anyone from living their greatest, happiest life. Ultimately though, through sharing, they just might find their greatest cheerleaders.